The Barclays’ English Drama League

For those who don’t watch the English Premier league..well…welcome to Earth, besides being the most exciting football league on the planet, it has more suspense than a kick-in episode of 24, or a season finale of Eastenders, the drama simply lives on. And this season has been next to perfect, fantastic football, loads of talking points, loads of challengers and even more blunders and goofs to wrap up the world’s most entertaining league, so what I’m gonna do is ride us through some of the clubs that have smacked the headlines and kept us glued to our screens with beautiful or comical football…

Tottenham “Very Hot” Spurs

From average mid-table swingers, to Champions League and possible title contenders, Spurs can do no wrong this season. With arguably the best signing of the campaign – Raphael Vander vaart, the sensational revelation/must-have player of the season – Gareth Bale and a dogged coach who never says die, Spurs have picked the tempo this season, beautiful attacking football that has hurt quite a number of premiership clubs, including arch-rivals Arsenal who tossed up a 2 goal lead to lose 3-2. Sitting at fifth place and looking cheery, Tottenham has continued in the momentum that stunned most premiership sides last season, and they are keen to prove to the Europe that their appearance on the big stage was definitely not a fluke.

LiverPOOR – Still walking Alone

Now, let me get this straight, it has been one mishap after the other, firstly Benitez leaves Liverpool after been accused of wrecking havoc to Inter Milan (where he wrecks further havoc). Roy Hodgson is brought in..hmmmm….good news? I mean, finally a brit at the helm of affairs at the Kop, but nothing improves, the reds are 12th, 3 points from the drop zone with a goal difference only a mother can love, and that’s only the half of it. Golden Spaniard, Fernando Torres has been even more dismal than he was at the world cup, captain fantastic – Steven Gerard has been in and out of form and you can simply feel the frustration of the Anfield faithful through your TV screens, it is plain sadness. What can I say, a prayer here, an overhaul there, and maybe….just maybe Liverpool would play in the Europa Cup next season, but as it stands? Well if Jesus turned water to wine…then anything is possible.

ManTEVEZter City

Now if you doled out close to 300 million pounds on transfer fees in two seasons and you found yourself second on the table, you really can’t call that a miracle now can you? Man City have been nothing but sturdy this season, comprehensive and steady, they have found themselves as very unlikely but worthy title contenders, finally giving their red neighbours something to worry about. Mancini’s side have been very consistent this season without raising any dust, sort of like Rovers when they sneaked home the premiership title in the 94/95 season. Even with an invisible Adebayor, an irrelevant Santa Cruz, a stubborn Balloteli and a feisty, sulky captain – Tevez, they’ve been unbelievably strong, calculated, and as the table has shown, consistent, as they give Fergie another reason to order an extra pack of gum during the Manchester Derby.

Manchester “The IncRedDevils” United

Drawing games, the Wayne Rooney drama, injury problems and yet they sit pretty at the top of the table with two games to spare, now that’s the United we’re used to watching, it’s still early days of course but Fergie simply proved to the watching world – “You write the red devils off at your own peril”. Manchester United have simply not played the most fantastic football this season and have succeeded in grabbing maximum points where they had to (coughs *Arsenal*). The revelation of the season for united has definitely been Dimitar “GoalaTov”, with 14 goals thus far, including 2 hatricks, he has finally come into his own. Rooney?…well…let’s close that chapter…watch this space though.

Chel “Deep in the” Sea FC

For a club that banged in 15 goals in three games, Chelsea’s season has taken one of the most dramatic turns in the club’s history. Three straight defeats, all to none premiership contenders, before losing recently to a young Arsenal team simply confirmed the stretched, lean team that Ancelloti has been forced to work with, the blues even got bluer when injury hit John Terry and Lampard dragged their climb to top form, and our favorite escape artist – John Obi Mikel has been caught out more times than a talking mime, well if you asked me (and that will be a mistake) I’d say Chelsea needs to relax and breathe, Malouda needs to find his feet, Drogba needs to find the post, and Ramirez needs to find another club.

Arsenal – The Groaners

For a coach who prides himself in bringing some of the world’s top talent to the premier league, Wenger signed arguably the worst players. Squilacci has so far proven that his calling is far from football, and Curse-cieny (that’s how you spell it right?) needs more insight, besides this (and the looming threat of losing captain Fab to Barca) Arsenal’s doing a pretty decent job holding the fort, and when they’re not conceding OMG goals, they’re getting it in properly, still a long campaign though…

Bolton, Sunderland and Blackpool have all been sublime this season, and they’ve kept the tempo and our heart rates up thus far, VIlla have struggled, and West Ham can certainly almost taste Championship football, it’s a great season, and when we’re not worrying about who’s going to be president, we can always just lean back, kick off our boots and watch the Barclays’ English Premiership.

Kaelo.