As the Court Pleases!

For most of who grew up watching Matlock and Boston Legal, law practice was the heaven of all professional jobs, most kids grew up wanting to be lawyers before they could even talk, and the rest of us just had dreams of banging the gavel. The wigs and the gowns, made us feel invincible and special like some specially chosen wand wielder from a Harry Potter flick. Yes..Law was the perfect profession, and they were always so smart, with their magical lingua and their perfect strides around the court room, and the beauty with which the unravelled all mysteries, nothing could be put past them; their intelligence was incomparable in our eyes. Court room brawls were things of art to behold, the banter going back and forth as lawyers threw witty comments at each other just in time to duck incoming jabs from their opponents. It was all magic, and we were all six year olds.

Welcome to the present, a future many of us did not envisage, surely we knew the pathway to becoming great jurists would not be easy, five years at the university, one year at Law School, six years in all ( or a range of seven to ten years depending on the staff union strikes ). Finally! The chance arrives, you’re no longer six years old, and you’re now an adult ready to take on the legal world, your dreams of taking on your chosen role as Matlock or Alan from Boston Legal. You put on your gown, your bib, and finally crown it all, with your wig, you take your first knowing strides to the court room, all set, all prepared, your file in hand, you’ve waited for this day for decades, and now – this is your chance. The court room door opens up, you see other sages clad in similar outfits as yourself, you beam proudly, write your name on the cause list as other lawyers do when they enter a court room. Your joy is immeasurable, yet you suppress it with quiet glee, any moment now, you think quietly to yourself. The Judge walks in, everybody bows, your pulse races against your heartbeat. He calls case after case, you patiently wait your turn, and more cases roll out of the register, your feet shuffle in deep anticipation, finally you hear your case number, your wide grin suggests to the bored audience that it’s either your birthday or you’re a newbie, the judge asks your opponent to speak, you brace yourself for a thorough barraging, your opponent skims uninterestedly through his file, yawns and says, “My Lord we have been served, we would request a short adjournment to reply”. You are shell shocked, as your mouth hangs open you’re not sure which hit you the hardest, the fact you didn’t have to say a word, or the fact your next day in court is in three months. The Gavel comes crashing down in finality; your day in court is over. “As the Court Pleases”.

On that note, I’ll like to say welcome to the Nigerian Legal System, yes I’m a lawyer, and of course it’s not all gloom and doom, there are the niceties too, besides the fact that these rarely happen, they also take long and careful practice to achieve. Truth is, the general perception of our legal system is a mixture of lengthy wastes of time and statutory debacles. These perceptions are wrong. Nigeria has the most dramatic and acclaimed legal system in Africa. We developed what the most parts of the world will call ‘the new common law’ (Google that!). I guess like all legal systems, we have a journey to make, but with time and good governance…who knows?